


Depending on You

by HermitsDisguise



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: After Weirdmageddon, Depressed Dipper Pines, Globel Weirdmageddon, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Soul Bond, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Relationships, soul mark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2018-07-15 13:18:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7223833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermitsDisguise/pseuds/HermitsDisguise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A soulmate is someone who's supposed to love and care for you. They're supposed to be the person you want to spend your whole life with. I always figured I would never have that, that I was one of those rare cases that was born without a soulmate. I guess I should laugh at how right I was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

The sky's a hideous dark red, the smell of blood following me everywhere I go. It's almost like I'm swimming in it. I'm running through the forest, running away from what I know is my doom. Paranoia taking over my mind, every crunch I hear I swear it's them, every chirp, every growl. Tears are streaming down my face, blurring my vision. I'm scared, so scared and I don't want this!

 My legs begin to ache and I so desperately want to sit down and take a break but the moment I do they'll catch me. Their extremely persistent and won't stop until they catch their prize. This chase is just a game to them. Before I was nothing but a dumb human, someone they didn't care whether or not got away, but now... Now I'm something they need, something to help them impress their Lord and Savior. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil, turning my tears into ones of frustration. But I can't be their prize, in fact I won't. I ignore the feeling telling me otherwise. As I wipe the tears away, I come to the terrifying realization that the forest became deathly silent and almost against my will I start to slow down. The forest around me starts spinning, the silence interrupted by horrible laughter. I cover my ears begging someone, anyone, that it isn't who I think it is. The laughter becomes louder and louder to the point that that's all I hear. I feel myself start shaking and no matter what I can't seem to move.

"Ha, look the meat bag's tired," one of the henchmaniacs mocked.

"Aw doesn't it look so cute that way?" The only girl monster in the group coos, making me shake even more. I'm at the verge of a full blown panic attack, more silent tears streaming face until they become loud terrified sobs. I didn't even notice that I am longer standing, I'm on the ground curled up into a small ball hoping that they would just leave me alone. But I know they won't, they'll take me back to him.

Please help me!

Mabel.

Grunkle Stan.

Great Uncle Ford.

Please help me, please...

Snapping me out of my terrified thoughts, a pair of thin pink arms pick me up, curling me against her chest. The pink monster started rocking me back and forth, almost like she was mocking me, making fun how weak I truly am. I sobbed harder, I couldn't bring myself to stop. I went limp against her, all my energy leaving me.

"The poor little thing is tired. You must be, you have been running for a long time. We should get you home, there you can sleep all you want alongside Lord Cipher," she said in a sickly sweet voice as if that was supposed to reassure me. I want to get away, to fight, to yell that I won't be going back but I can't bring myself to move. Self hatred is coursing through my battered and bruised body, if only I wasn't so weak. It feels as if I'm just surrendering, accepting my fate. Suddenly, snapping me out of my thoughts, the monster sprinkled gold dust over my head. My eyes become heavy, in fact too heavy causing them to fall shut. I was no longer in the land if the living, but rather in the land of dreams.

Slowly opening my eyes, I almost forced myself to believe I was back in the Shack, back with my family before Weirdmageddon. But the bed was too soft, too luxuries to be mine. Looking around a feeling of dread came over me. I was back where I started, back in Bill's room and as if the Universe felt that this wasn't bad enough a long tall figure walked out of the shadows. The figure had tan copper like skin, with one gold eye, the other was covered by a triangle shaped eye patch. His blond hair was parted to the left and the under side of it was black. He was wearing a yellow tux with a brick pattern and a top hat that looked to be floating.

"You tried to run away again," He stated as he made a drink appear in his hand as began to walk towards me. Taking a long sip, he took hold of my face. I flinched away, terrified what he'd do. "I was hoping to not have to resort to this but you leave me no choice." Before I could react to what he said he spat his drink in my eyes, causing me to scream.

My eyes are burning!

My eyes... My eyes...

In the back of my mind I knew what this would do to me, but I refused to believe it. I know Bill's enjoying my pain as he takes me in his arms in what's suppose to be a comforting hold but instead caused me to once more sob and shake uncontrollable. Holding my face once more in his hand he gently kissed my eyelids

"You know I hate hurting you Pinetree, you are my soulmate after all.

***

Gasping, I woke up. It was a just nightmare. I kept repeating this mantra in my head but it didn't work, it didn't make me feel better. This wasn't a nightmare it was really just a memory of something I so desperately want to forget but can't for the damage he caused was permanent. I can no longer see.


	2. Chapter 2

"Dipper you don't have to go," Mabel said for what seemed to be the hundredth time, "I'm sure Mom and Dad would understand if you don't want to go. I mean it is the last day of school we could-"

"I know, and that's why I have to go, why we have to go. Come on Mabel, it's our last year of high school. If I don't go, I'll feel like... Like the bullies won. Like Bill won." I hear Mabel sigh in exasperation and I know I won the argument. Closing my useless eyes I silently thank my sister. Mabel’s done so much for me. In fact this days her life seemed to revolve around me and my needs. Guilt easily became an emotion associated with her. She put her life on hold for me, me her pathetic excuse of a brother. I know I'm always going to be the mess that Bill created and I wish Mable would notice that so she could move on with her life. I know she's going to change the world for the better, and for this reason I have to do this, I have to let her go.

"Okay, I'll help you pick something out. But, you are not leaving my side under any circumstances, got it?" She demands and I can easily imagine her wagging her finger at me trying to look serious. I feel my smile harden but agree nonetheless. For a brief minute she squeezes my hand before moving away from my bed. I hear her go to my closet, the sound of the rustling of clothes and the clinks from the hangers fill the room. The sounds slowly fade into the background as my mind slips away. Self-doubt and selfish thoughts invaded my mind. Was this really a good idea? Everyone hates me... I can't defend myself... Everyone hates me... Without her I'll be alone... Everyone hates me... I don't want to be alone… Everyone hates me... Why does everyone hate me?

 "-per, Diaper snap out of it. You're here, you're safe. Take some deep breaths, focus on slowing down your breathing." The my world fades back into reality, my sister's arms around my body rocking me back and forth to calm my nerves down. Following her instructions I took deep mouthfuls of air, taking in her scent as I did. Mabel always smelled like fresh paint, glue and something sweet, like butterscotch, a scent I came to associate with safety and guilt. I clung to her like how a newborn child clings to it’s mother. It's pathetic how much I came to depend on my sister. She tries her hardest to make me think that it doesn't hurt her, that it's not my fault but I know that I'm the reason she doesn't have friends or even a boyfriend. My social butterfly of a sister deserves so much more. If only I was stronger, better. If I just wasn't so,

"Weak. I'm sorry, I'm-"

"Dipper don't apologize for this. You've been through so much and none of it is your fault. You didn’t choose Bill as your soulmate," I could hear her smile, a sad small smile that her voice always indicted she wore. "Now I picked out your clothes. I still have to get some stuff ready before we head out. Call me if you need anything okay?" I nodded as she slowly let go, almost causing me to cry out at the loss of comfort. As soon as I hear her footsteps disappear, I collapse. I want to take her advice and stay home, but I can't do that. The moment I do, I know for a fact Mabel will stay to take care of me. I can almost imagine her sad expression if I told her. So, with a random burst of courage, I take the clothes she handed to me, run my hands through the shirt, which I presume is a flannel, and the pants, which I know are pair of jeans, and slowly put them on. After taking my cane and taping around to find my shoes, I left the safety of my room.

*****

Mabel and I walked hand in hand down the halls of the prison parents deem acceptable to send their kids. I can feel everyone's glares, I can hear their whispers. The atmosphere feels tense with disappointment thick in the air, I guess the student body didn't want their last day of school ruin by my mere presence. I can feel Mabel tensing up at what they're saying about me causing me to pity her. I for the most part have gotten use to it. The key words in that sentence is for the most part. Their words still cut my like knives, dull knives but knives nothing less. Once again I lost myself in my own thoughts and, in what felt like a short span of time, we stopped in front of what I assumed was my classroom. Mabel squeezed my hand.

"Remember to wait for me," She says as she hugs me tightly. I don't want to let her go. I want go with her, to feel safe. Immediately I shake those thoughts out of my head. I can't be selfish. So, as she lets go I smile and head into my classroom.

For the most part the day passed in an extremely peaceful way. There were still people who glared at me and spat insults in my face but that was nothing compared to what some of my other bullies did. I was actually pretty happy with how things turned out. Maybe the Universe is finally helping me out, I thought as I stood outside of my last classroom waiting for Mabel.

"Yo, the slut's still here and without his bodyguard!" I instantly feel a shiver ran down my spine at the pure fear I felt hearing that voice. I heard a number of laughs coming from the same direction, telling me my tormentor was not alone. I should have seen this coming my luck was never this good and it probably never will. Taking a deep breath I tried to calm my nerves.

"Please, just leave me alone," I begged in a small whisper trying my best to walk away from my bullies. Apparently that wasn't the correct thing to say because before I could react Trevor took hold of my neck in a vice like grip causing me to choke on my own saliva.

"Do you really think you have any right to ask that?" With each word his grip grew tighter. I started clawing at his hands desperately trying to pry them off me to no avail. "After everything your soulmate put us through, no what he put the world through, do you really think you deserve any form of mercy? He tore families apart, slaughtered hundreds of people while you happily sucked his cock." As he said this he tightened his grip causing a wave of dizziness to wash over me. "You became his slut just to save your own skin. You deserve everything you're getting and worse." Tears were streaming down my face at this point. They hated me, everyone hated me for something I had no control over. I didn't want Weirdmageddon to happen, but you could have done more to stop, the tiny voice in my head whispered. You could have done more to stop Bill instead you rolled over like a submissive pet. I faintly hear someone whisper something to Trevor snapping me out of my thoughts. Whatever the other told my bully must have been interesting because to let go of my neck drooping me on the floor. Taking mouthfuls of hear I really did think they were done with me. But before I could even utter any words a few pair of hands took ahold of my arms, pulling them behind my back. I tried to struggle but I only succeeded in further angering my tormentors.

"Why don't you just take this like a good like bitch?" Trevor mocked as he kicked my stomach, "Dumbass slut." It was those words that ignited the hate in everyone else who I knew were just watching. Everyone started beating on me, kicking my stomach, my face, every inch of my body was in pain. I begged them to stop but my pleas fell on deaf ears. Blood mixed itself with my tears and sweat, every inch of my body felt like it was in fire and I just took it. Where's Mabel? I want my sister! I want this to stop. Please Mabel make it stop. Please make it stop, Bill! Almost like magic, my tormentors stopped their brutal punishment leaving me a moment to think. I just begged Bill for help. Shame pooled itself in the pit of my stomach. More tears streamed down my face, I'll never change, will I?

"Aww, look at the bitch's crying face!" A girl mocked, "God, he looks so pathetic. I pity anyone who has to look at that face."

"How about we help them out?" Trevor asked the girl. I felt panic swell in my chest. Weren't they done? Wasn't what they did to me enough? The same people who were holding me down seemed to take the hint because they lifted me of the ground and dragged me away. Before I knew it I was thrown into another room, the door slamming behind me. I tired to stand up but everything hurt too much to move. I sat on my knees, a position I grew familiar with years ago. Pounding on the door I begged them to let me out, the only response I received was laughter and the echoing of footsteps as they left.

"Please, please let me out. Please let me out. Please don't leave me here alone!" I screamed and begged as I continued to pound on the door for who knows how long. No one came to my rescue. My pounding slowed until I completely stopped. I rested my head on the door as my the pain overtook me. "Bill please. I'll be good I promise." Old words spilled from my lips as I felt myself drift away.

 

****

  _I was sitting on my knees inside a cage. The cage's cold and somewhat rusty reminding me of the one we found Gideon in. I'm shivering and scared. I'm scared that Bill won't come back, I’m scared he will. I'm scared my family left me or worse they’re died. I'm so overwhelmed with emotions I don't know what to do or feel. I know everything would get better if I surrender but I can't do that!_

_"And why can't you?" Startled, I try to face the directions the voice is coming from shaking my cage in the process. A long hand works its way through the bars of my cage resting on my cheek. Bill's claws too close to my face for comfort but I didn't flinch away._

_"Your getting so good at this," he cooed, slowing scratching my cheek with his long claws leaving small drops of blood behind. "Now tell me, why can't you just give in?"_

_"You hurt my family, you're hurting innocent people, you're evil," I whisper the old mantra. His creasing stops and he pulls away causing a whimper to slip through my lips. For a minute I thought he left, leaving me in horrible isolation when laughter pierced the air. As it began to die down I could almost imagine Bill wiping a tear away._

_"Boy, Kid you do know how to make me laugh. Yes, I did that and I won't stop. What's the point in being the Overlord of this pathetic rock if I can't have FUN?" A whimper once more escapes me causing Bill sigh. "And here I thought I was making progress. Oh well, I bet a couple more weeks in here could fix that and who knows I might just forget about you all together." Fear spiked through me as his footsteps slowly disappeared._

_"NO, Bill please. I'll be good I promise!" I desperately yell, my arm reaching out towards him. I just don't want to be alone again. The footsteps stop and became louder as they came closer._

_"Now that's what I wanted to hear Pinetree."_

****

  
"Dipper, Dipper oh my god. when they didn't call your name at graduation..." Who was that? "Bill?" "No, it's Mabel, your amazing sister." This caused me to chuckle. "Oh yes, how could I forget?" I shakily say, my throat sore from crying, screaming I really didn't know. "What happened Dip-Dot?" She asked voice full of concern as she helped me up. "Nothing important." "Dipper this is serious-" "Can we just go home please?" I felt her nod. As she was carrying me to who knows where I realized that the fabric she was wearing wasn't any type of cloth she used to make her sweaters. It was an almost slipper cloth. A realization then hit me, she was wearing her cape and gown. "Hey, Mabel, did you get your diploma?" I asked fearing the answer.

"No, but it doesn't matter you were in trouble." She contained to explain why it wasn't important and how being with me was far better than getting a stupid piece of paper. The guilt of it all was crushing me. I didn't want my sister to miss her own graduation because of me but she missed it anyway. God, why am I so weak? We finally made it to the car, successfully kicking me out of my own thoughts. Mabel ushered me into the back sit urging me to rest, I only smiled and nodded. As I reacted my forehead on the cool glass I swear I heard a strange whisper.

_"You will always need me."_


	3. Chapter 3

As Mabel and I got out of the cramped car I felt dread fill me to the bone. I knew for a fact that our parents were going to be waiting for us outside of our little two story home as they always did when I screwed something up. Mabel quickly took hold of my hand and squeezed it to help me chase away my fears. As we walked closer I felt their presence, a presence as ominous and dangerous as the demons I try confront at school. Guilt quickly consumed me. This is all my fault, our parents are going to punish us because I was too weak to fight my bullies, I was too weak to fight Bill. God, I almost wish… No I can't think that! What would people think if I even uttered that wish out loud? They’d despise me! The closer we get, the more monstrous our parents became in my mind’s eye. I imagined them no longer as people but as deranged monsters with sharp teeth, claws and bloody red eyes. This image became so vivid I almost believed that I was back there, with Bill. 

“Dipper are you okay?” Mabel let go of my sweaty hand to can crashed my body against hers in a tight hug. The image slowly started to disintegrate as I felt myself nod. But before I could verbally respond I felt the weight of someone’s glare. 

“Mabel stop babying your brother,” My father demanded causing me to flinch at his cold tone.

“Well Dad if you cared about your son you would know none of this was his fault!” Mabel moved in front of me. “You are just a selfish men too ashamed of what other people think to actually look at Dipper and see how much he’s suffering!” 

“Young lady you will not speak to you Father in such a manner,” my mom yelled angrily, making me shrink further behind Mabel.

“So he should be more considerate!” Mabel responded without missing a beat. “Why can’t you understand that Dipper needs us?”

“Because it was his fault!” Dad blowed a fuse, “If he wasn't letting a demon of all things fuck him we wouldn't be in this situation!” At his words I felt tears prickle at the edges of my eyes. I fought them off not wanting to give them the impression I was hurt. But it didn't seem to matter he continued to spew his horrible words. “Like it or not, but that, that slut turned his back on his family, on his friends, on the whole world when he surrendered to that monster! He deserves the treatment he’s getting! I have had to put up with neighbors looking at me like I betrayed the human race, which I did by house him. So Mabel don't ask me to be more considerate because I have been and I have had enough of him causing trouble.” After his outburst there were a few moments of pure silence. At this point I didn't care that tears were falling freely down my face. Let them it's not like it matters, like I matter. It hurt even more when my mother didn’t even try to defend me. I should have known, I’m just a waste of space. I’m not worth it, I’m a burden to everyone I love... 

“How dare you say such horrible things about your own son! You know as well as any that you can't choose your soulmate! How is this fair to Dipper? He didn't choose to be bonded, by force may I add, to Bill fucking Cipher!” My sister screamed.

“So that’s what you think of me?” I ask, voice of hallow it doesn't feel like my own, I almost thought they didn't hear me. After a few long agonizing minutes my mom got close enough to brush her fingers on my shoulder. I quickly backed away from the offending hand. But regardless my mother took my hand in hers.

“Don't touch him!” Mabel said ready to bounce. But Mabel’s command fall on deaf ears for our mother did not move away from me, instead she began to speak. 

“No, of course not sweetie, your dad has just had a long day and with the festivities of the day being ruined he was just put under a lot of stress,” Mother all but cooed. 

“Please don’t lie, I’m blind not stupid.” As I spoke these words I felt my mother flinch away from me and if she flinched I bet dad did as while. Our parents always seemed uncomfortable with the fact that I can no longer see. I guess they’ll never got used to it, but they won’t have to worry for much longer. 

“We know son-” Dad began. 

“Don't you mean slut?” Mabel all but sneered.

“I, I didn’t mean anything I said. Your mother and I know how Dipper, how you, suffered as much as the rest of us-”

“No I don’t think you do,” My amazing loving sister interrupted once more and, if her voice was any indication, I knew for a fact that she was glaring at the people in front of us. “You don't truly know how much he had to endure, how much he lost-”   
“It’s okay, I forgive you.” I can't let them have another fight over such a stupid topic. I can’t be the reason why this family is tearing itself apart.

“Dip-dot, you can’t just forgive them!” Disbelief evident in Mabel's voice as she took me into her arms. 

“They don't deserve it…” I smile and slowly pat her back. I wanted to tell her how there was nothing to forgive because everything dad said is right. I am a slut. I did betray the human race. I could have done more but I didn’t. Slowly letting go of her, I announced that I was going to my room. My parents got out my way as my walking stick helps me maneuver the lawn and finally the inside of the house. I slowly head towards the general direction of the stairs. When I finally reached them I headed up and took a right towards bathroom. Once there I opened the number of drawers looking for the cylinder containers.


End file.
